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Clone Dictators of North Korea?

   North Korean dictator Kim Jong il's long awaited journey into an assuredly horrid fiery afterlife is now a reality. Thoughts of him being roasted slowly yet eternally, hog tied on a spit with myriad minor demons rectally abusing him with pineapples dance happily through the heads of just about all South Koreans, escaped North Koreans, and most of the world's heads of state.

   While jubilating over this highly anticipated event, we should not be distracted into overlooking the fact that sometimes true evil doesn't just die, it transcends and cheats both justice and death. There is evidence that in the case of the wily leader of North Korea, this very scenario may have been happening for decades, and right under our very noses.

How it all Started

  Kim il Sung is well known to have founded what North Korea is today. It is said that on the day he was born to a virgin a bright star rose above his birthplace and angels appeared spreading flowers and farting pixie dust. His reign of terror over the country almost began shortly before WWII, but was interrupted when the Japanese invaded, at which time he ran away as fast as his little legs could carry him to Russia. Little is known of his reign of terror while sitting the war out there other than he was returned to Korea forcibly as soon as it was over.

   Once settled into the northern section of the country and professing communism he quickly set about establishing the world's most completely oppressive, militarized, neighbor attacking, leader worshiping, brainwashed, starving, streetlight-less and nuclear ambitious prison camp; North Korea. This he accomplished by killing all intellectuals, village elders, civil servants and anyone civilian or military who disagreed with or even rolled their eyes at him via firing squad or putting them in work-till-you-die camps. He's also credited with holding fully democratic elections in which there is one party running, all citizens must vote, and a missed vote or one against the party means you must die. In short; all elections he won hands down by major landslides

  Enthused by success, he then set himself up as their national god, built up an army and quickly invaded southern Korea, who frankly knew all about his doings up north and wanted nothing to do with him. It seems they already had a god, and couldn't accept Kim Il Sung as their personal savior no matter how hard he tried to make them believe in him by killing them, so he decided he'd just kill them all anyway. This entirely pissed off a fresh from WWII world tired of genocide and gave renewed economic opportunity to the boot bayonet bullet and band-aid makers who had been hurriedly starving to death since the end of the war, so the Korean war was thus brought into being by an act of the U.N. to oust kim from the south

  Except for a cease fire between the opposing forces seperating North from South Korea this particular war is actually ongoing still. Since that's a story unto itself, we'll just skip through it and the following decades of cold war intrigues, cultural extermination, cross border guerrilla operations, tunnel infiltrations, assassinations, kidnappings, bombings and so forth to get to the part where he dies.

  Upon his so called death and entombment he was appointed “Eternal President”; This led us to suspect he's most probably not quite dead yet. Even though his body is safely interred and under constant armed guard, he's apparently absent from it. Besides, we all know it would be impossible for him to lead anything from a tomb.

Bring in the Clones

   What is previously unknown is that while in the former Soviet Union Kim il Sung secretly absconded with a newly developed human cloning technology, one which the Russians themselves had shelved because of a marked tendency to produce progressively worsening physically and intellectually defective clones. What else not known is that from cumulative experience torturing and brainwashing various small animals, missionaries, diplomats, captured soldiers, and his own people, he had developed a technique for inserting a foreign soul into another's body after ridding it of the one it came with. This technique works even better on clones, as they don't come with a soul to begin with. and since clones made from his own cells closely resembled him... 

  In a first for any communist nation, Kim il Sung established a hereditary dynasty by appointing his 'son' Kim Jong il to succeed him just shortly before his death. Other communist nations were in shock, as well they should have been; after all, isn't a dictatorial monarchic dynasty diametrically opposed to what communism's supposed to be about in the first place?

   Kim il Sung and Kim Jong il have always looked strikingly- no, alarmingly alike. Legend has it that Kim Jong il was also born of a virgin, that winter turned to spring on his birth,  and that he himself farts flowers and pixie dust. Nevertheless, no one really knows his origins for certain. At the death of Kim il Sung, this entirely look alike 'son' Kim Jong il took over as supreme power in North Korea, killed all the heads of government and leaders his father appoimted, had himself democratically elected in a one party vote-or-you-die election, and as chance would have it continued doing exactly the same things as his predecessor without so much as a skip in stride.

   History in an undeviating progression shows North Korea under both 'Kims' pursuing these same tyrannical behaviors of oppression, militarization, neighbor attacking, leader worshiping, brainwashing, starving of his own people, not installing street lights and testing nuclear weapons within his tiny country, which just happens to remain the world’s largest fortified prison camp. Worse yet, he became friends with Dennis Rodman

  Over many decades now we've seen both the policies and face of North Korea's leader go unchanged from inception by the original 'Kim1' through the second 'Kim2', leading to the inescapable conclusion that they may in fact be one and the same. Kim il Sung seems to have taken to being a totalitarian dictator worshiped as god so much that he decided he'd never die, so he didn't, he just jumped into the cloned body double raised as his son, became Kim Jong il and kept on truckin.

'But what of the future?' we may ask now that Kim Jong il is supposedly a permanently emplaced fixture at the great flaming gulag in the underworld?

Return of the Clone Prince

   As the health of Kim Jong il deteriorated over the years and hope rose in the rest of the world that this anachronistic tyrant would soon die off we were once again sobered into reality

  Meet his 'son' Kim Jong un, once again allegedly born to a virgin, and in addition to stars rising and winter changing magically to spring on his birth as well as the seemingly hereditary ability of farting flowery pixie dust, sunshine in North Korea now only occurs when it leaks from his glorious sphincter (that is when lightning isn't coming out of it to consume his enemies). Nothing much is actually known about his true origins as well, but I suppose we already get the picture.

  This development more than lets us, the North Korean Clone Dictator aware, know that the soul transfer from 'Kim2' to younger 'Kim3' has indeed already taken place. This more than likely happened shortly after Kim Jong il suffered a major stroke before his reputed death, giving a ready excuse and excellent cover story for the final transfer to the new 'Kim3' body of the eternal leader's spirit while the body of Kim Jong il was yet alive. To those in the know, this misdirection was absolutely transparent, there was no soul in the vegetative body of Kim Jong il when it passed away. Once again Kim defies death and keeps on keeping on!

  Kim Jong un seems to have wasted little time in stepping directly into his 'fathers' shoes, killing all the heads of government and leaders his father appointed, then having himself democratically elected in a one party vote-or-you-die landslide election. Initiating yet another North Korean threat to its neighbors, he then attacked South Korean and began massing weaponry along their borders.

   Tightening his internal grip on an already starving, poverty stricken, brainwashed and enslaved population he then cemented his position as eternal leader by effectively telling the rest of the world it can kiss his ass because he now has not just one but many atomic bombs, and he plans on using them on the U.S. and anyone else he dislikes up to and including himself. Worse yet, him and Dennis Rodman are best friends. Thus he is promising all sorts of other interesting 'Kim' style nastiness if we don't get with his program.

  There is no other explanation for it, 'Kim' the Eternal Leader of the North Koreans lives again, and again, and is a clone. This has to be the most devious and longest publicly unnoticed thing anyone's ever done in history, and it was done right under the noses of every nation on earth

  Get ready for yet more oppression, militarization, neighbor attacking, leader worshiping, brainwashing, no street light having, starving North Korea, and now nuclear attacks on the US, because 'Kim's' ride on you isn't quite over yet.

One thing we must ask ourselves is whether despite his entertainment value we can stomach anyone this evil to run a country for three lifetimes? Another is this; What about his clone army?

 "On a satellite I ride, nothing down below can hide"

Keith Laney Productions™ © 2002-2015

All custom imagery use restricted without permission. All rights reserved


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