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meditation with me for the Equinox coming up in a few days. Sometimes good to 'prime' our spiritual cores before the happening-group groundings are good things. :)

<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/mellow.gif" alt="Mellow" title="mellow" />
Stars
[quote author="Wook"]Smoke
last couple of weeks
have not been my best
a couple of minor medical problems
Cheers

I've moved so many mountains these last few weeks, I'm happy to report that my back instead of feeling broken is nice and more limber--- it is so much in our heads these bodies. Not hard to fix them back to normal...with group think especially.
That's on Friday, right?
What time?

Peace
Quote:That's on Friday, right?
What time?

Peace


I'll have to check it out to see right now-it's when the Sun goes into 0 Aries... many nationalities' New Year-always my favorite one too.

We just enjoyed a good Irish dinner of corned beef sandwiches grilled with string cheese with coleslaw-roasted the corned beef with lots of carrots and potatoes and onions-it was good.

Talked about a meditative Equinox-we're all having the same sort of conditions here that need a big change around. Snow's melting away fast-as I predicted back in the Fall we're going to be Spring here by the 25th which with the New Moon on the 24th... it is a very heavy good time right now to know which direction on your own path you want to be going. Time to clean up and out all the unworthy of your self and mind time.

I spoke with a very true and good man yesterday-he started talking in magic talk to me-it was good. I feel very much more *happy* today though faced with as much stress if not more than before yesterday even.

it is all good.

like Samurai has said 'live life like you've already died'... which translates to me as 'live right now so you won't have any regrets later'.

<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/cheers.gif" alt="Cheers" title="cheers" />
I need a frivolous healing: I don't think I should go back to that church & ask Jesus to make my hair straight again.

Barbara Hand Clow says the Spring Equinox is the time to write down 3 things you want manifested in your life for the coming new year, and put the paper in a manifestation box. Seems like a good idea to me.
<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/cheers.gif" alt="Cheers" title="cheers" />
If we are going to do a group meditation, may I suggest that we agree on the subject matter? Maybe I'm off base, but I've always felt it important to have a real sense of "Unity" when approaching a group focus?

<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/dunno.gif" alt="Dunno" title="dunno" />
I'm in. I'm off Thurs thru Sun. <img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/applause.gif" alt="Applause" title="applause" />
Quote:That's on Friday, right?
What time?

Peace

Read the following sign scopes for your RISING sign... I spoke to Hecate on the phone last night about 'this' and she said the Hermes is also the god over dark and light with a trickster fun twist involved too... and that THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME OF THE YEAR TO EVOKE YOUR MANIFESTATIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR. So Thursday eve if you're not an early early bird... do your intense focusings.

http://www.ojaivalleynews.com/CurrentEd ... ology.html

Quote:Aries fires usher in new spiritual year

Esoteric astrology as news for the week of March 19 through 23:
The waters of Pisces give way to the fires of Aries this week as the sun enters Aries and the new spiritual year begins. Friday (4:44 a.m., Pacific time) is the spring equinox (equal light and dark) with the sun positioned directly over the equator.

When the vertical ray of the sun is at the equator, there is equal light in both northern and southern hemispheres and the entire Earth has 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of night (starlight). Astronomically, it is the point at which the ecliptic intersects the celestial equator. This equal day and night occurs because the Earth, encircling the sun, spins like a top tilted at 23.5 degrees causing seasonal changes in sunlight levels.

Everywhere are signs of fertility, regeneration and rebirth in the form of Easter, eggs, bunnies, peeps, etc., symbols of the Teutonic dawn goddess (Eostre) and great mother whose roots are ancient and pagan. Eastre/Eostre is the ancient word for spring. All traditions celebrate new life at spring equinox. For Christians it’s the Easter’s message of Resurrection, with simultaneous egg hunts and the Easter bunny. In Greek mythology, Persephone returns from Pluto’s underworld. Demeter (her mother) allows spring to unfold restoring the sun’s power and light. An etheric fire appears at the roots of all plants. At the megalithic (large stones) site, Loughcrew Cairn T in Ireland, each spring equinox at sunrise, a beam of light travels through stone passages to illuminate the “Equinox Stones” — 5,000-year-old stone-age art inscribed with solar images. At spring equinox we ask ourselves, what do we want to reap at autumn’s harvest? It’s time to consult biodynamic planting calendars, prepare the soil, and create the new victory gardens. Friday, March 20, the spring equinox, is also International Astrology Day.

ARIES: The focus and energy shifts from being in the world and in groups to solitude, quiet and contemplation. In order to begin anew, and see the long-term and truly sensible steps into the future, this time of rest and relaxation, possibly forced upon you, is most essential. It leads you to authenticity of self which leads to self-integrity. There’s much work to be done soon. It begins with inner reflection.

TAURUS: So many tasks call you each day. You wish life would simply stop, settle down, not move so fast, be slower and more contained. But no, it’s as if a revolution has occurred in your life and you’re being pulled along, called forth and summoned for your information and vision. What you do is translate the future into the present. Does anyone listen? Not many. But you must continue.

GEMINI: You’re often able to see possibilities, tap into the potential of others and later, after much thought, articulate this potential hoping others will benefit. We must ask now what is your potential and what ways, what things must you do, for you to benefit? Your greater resource is your mind. Your greatest resource is your love waiting to be radiated forth. Begin with intentions for good will to all.

CANCER: Often you scurry around things, stepping or hopping or scuttling sideways from here to there. Sometimes you hide away and we don’t see you for a while and there is no communication. You become quiet and harbor yourself away in order to think and ponder upon the importance of life. Often the great treasure of yourself is also hidden for emotional safety and security. Your greatest asset is how you nourish. Begin with your own self-nourishment. Do you know how?

LEO: To earn your living with satisfaction it must have fun and playful aspects. You take pride in your work and always want to be first and the best. To be the best you must feel a harmonious rhythm, you must feel independently creative, you must be recognized and you must experience joy. Is all of this occurring within your chosen profession? Does your work give you courage?

VIRGO: Your mind is often a rich fertile environment where ideas are revealed, then shaped into ideals, which you attempt to cultivate and disseminate. It’s important to be aware of the seasons and plant your gardens through each season so you can, on outer levels, see that you are reaping and sowing, planting and gathering. Your self-esteem grows along with your seedlings.
LIBRA: So many gifts do you possess — tact and diplomacy, refinement in social skills, compromise and cooperation. All of these lead to right action and right relations, qualities called upon in the Aquarian Age. You might want to consider expanding your Libra gifts in the coming months, adding the skills of mediation, bargaining, teamwork, and reconciliation. Then it would be good for you to study design.

SCORPIO: You need some pleasure, romance, recreation, freedom and affection. Are these available or on the horizon? You work hard for your money but there comes a time when the work and money details must be set aside and a determined focus on that which allows your creative sensitivities to come forth is paramount. You’re very charming and magnetic. They need to be released upon the world.

SAGITTARIUS: Be sure to incorporate appreciation and support to all and everyone you encounter. It strengthens and rewards you with vision and gives meaning to other people’s lives. This is a formula that provides you with the charisma and security you seek. This last line is most important to ponder. You’re always the teacher, shaping others’ beliefs and attitudes. Think on these things and what you can increasingly do that improves the lives of others.

CAPRICORN: As your life develops you find it easier to work consciously within discipline and order. I read the other day that without structure and rules, life can become dissipated. There’s no tension created to work through and one can become lost. You’re aware that to be mature, and ultimately successful, discipline allows for the ultimate freedom. Reflect upon how you are presently using money. And what you are rebelling against.

AQUARIUS: It’s important to consider what is of value to you, what people, things, ideas, ideals have value and where your self as valuable fits into this. Do you consider yourself valuable? Many don’t. However, being aware of the value of self means being aware of yourself as an investment. Being aware of self as valuable is also how self-esteem is created. It doesn’t come from others. Appreciation of your skills brings them forth.

PISCES: It’s known that Pisces is otherworldly (in a worldly sort of way), magical and rather unique. Often how they exist in the world is either a question or a secret. For many Pisces it’s as if they have taken vows — either of poverty or chastity or both. The abundance they understand is that of the spirit. As the months unfold, resources will become more and more available. You will use them with confidence and wisdom. And for new shoes.

Risa D'Angeles, founder and director of the Esoteric & Astrological Studies & Research Institute, a contemporary Wisdom School in Santa Cruz, California, also publishes an online esoteric journal, Night Light News - nightlightnews.com. Risa can be contacted at <a href="mailto:risa@lrec.org">risa@lrec.org</a>.
Quote:If we are going to do a group meditation, may I suggest that we agree on the subject matter? Maybe I'm off base, but I've always felt it important to have a real sense of "Unity" when approaching a group focus?

<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/dunno.gif" alt="Dunno" title="dunno" />
Agree, and since we're getting to be such a bunch of geezers, maybe we should focus on our health?
[quote author="Samurai Jane"][quote author="QuantumObserver"]If we are going to do a group meditation, may I suggest that we agree on the subject matter? Maybe I'm off base, but I've always felt it important to have a real sense of "Unity" when approaching a group focus?

Rotatingheart

Lady Nada
[Image: NAsmall.jpg] Nada means ‘the voice of silence'. A beautiful ascended being, said to be the twin flame of Jesus Sananda. She pours love into the hearts of men, drawing forth the Divine Plan within each of us. She directs healing to mankind. Lady Nada is a member of the karmic board. When she is called upon she will correct any ‘abnormalities' within your being. Her retreat is over Arabia in Saudi Arabia and she shares a retreat with Jesus Sananda over Jerusalem, Israel. Her symbol is a pink rose, which she may place in your heart.
[video:2s52ph3w]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NlhG7VhnUs[/video:2s52ph3w]

this expresses me and my life's surreality best... I'm the nun on the left during their walks.
some grounding techniques:

http://www.touchedbylight.co.uk/Pages/A ... unding.htm

Grounding
The higher the vibrations we reach in our meditations, the more important it is to remain grounded and be able to ground ourselves when needed. We must be able to ground the light or it can’t be used. We need to be connected to the earth and allow earth energies to flow through us, so we don’t drift off to other realms without control and / or allow unwanted ‘nasties’ to enter our energy fields.

Life’s events can cause us to become ungrounded, for example a shock sends our subtle bodies out of alignment with our physical vehicle. Some people have never been fully in their bodies, possibly due to a difficult birth or event when they were in the womb. Clairvoyants have seen that even Light Workers are frequently out of their bodies when not in meditation. Repeated meditations in a short period of time make it more difficult to return to the earth.

If ungrounded we may feel sick, dizzy, spaced out or faint, headachy, panicky, vagueness, disorientation, pale and a general feeling of being ‘unwell’. Also ‘living in your head’ too much – too many thoughts, fears, worries and lack of connection with yourself and others. If you are very ungrounded you may not be able to recognize it yourself and may need input from others to help you back.There are many ways to help ground ourselves:
• Stamp feet, clap hands.

• Stretching, dancing, walking, movement.

• Any contact with the earth or water e.g. walk bare foot on the earth, gardening, swimming, washing hands, splash water on the face, shower, bath.

• Stand without shoes (preferably bare foot) and slowly rock back and forwards.

• Imagine roots coming from your feet going deep into the earth.

• Image a column of red light going from your body into the earth.

• Increase your rate of breathing and be aware of the in and out breaths.

• Tap the edge of your hands below the little finger.

• Breathe earth energy from the ground through your feet, up the left leg and back to the earth through the right leg.

• Think of your fingers and toes as being magnetised. The astral body will be drawn to them, centre and anchor by the magnetic pull, like iron fillings being attracted to a magnet.

• Close down your chakras, from top to bottom. Imagine them closing like a flower bud. Then seal with a protective symbol such as a cross of light within a circle of light or religious protective symbol important to you.

• Contract the aura. Imagine that your aura is like a balloon. As you breathe out imagine the balloon contracting with each breath.

• Thymus Gland tap: tap gently on the mid chest in a circular motion. Go up on the left side and down on the right. This helps balance all the energy meridians in the body.

• Take Rescue Remedy or similar emergency essence or homoeopathic Arnica.

• Eat, especially carbohydrates and sugars. Drink tea or coffee.

• Use sesame oil and nutmeg oil.

• In extremes: warm soaky bath, aspirin and sleep.

• To help someone else: place your hands on their feet – this helps bring down the energies. Or place hands on their shoulders, this opens the chakras in the feet, allowing earth energy to flow into them.




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also the CORE FEAR MATRIX REMOVAL PROGRAM

http://www.touchedbylight.co.uk/Pages/A ... e_fear.htm
<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/cheers.gif" alt="Cheers" title="cheers" /> I'm in.
Quote:Cheers I'm in.


you're good! <img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/cheers.gif" alt="Cheers" title="cheers" />
so though it happens at early morning tomorrow~Friday the 20th... should we be looking at an after dinner time time? like 8pm Eastern where Keith is and 7 Central-6 Rocky Mountain, 5 Pacific?

I felt it starting to shift at about 11 this morning. Hecate told me to keep it simple-MAY ALL OUR NEEDS RESOLVE IMMEDIATELY IN OUR FAVOR.

and that the ancient god/goddess duo for this is Hermes and Hecate-let's get healed and all past messes resolved in our favor immediately-we don't have time to be down, sick or wallowed in any mire.

The time of the sociopaths is DONE. I am DONE with the bad energies of lying, stealing, selfish, killing...

I'm invoking the XENA Princess Warrior mode to come to the forefront.

<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/cheers.gif" alt="Cheers" title="cheers" />

Hecate said that Hermes is a trickster-to be prepared for some FUNNY CHANGES. CHANGE.

also with the Spring Equinox-it is the time for Spring Cleaning-then you scrub or sweep your floors towards your front door-salt all your windows and door sills and you're fresh for the NEW YEAR.
Tell me again about how everything is going to turn around for me?

So far somebody left the windows open in my car for a roaring downpour all night. Now I find that someone also broke into my basement again last night.


Pissed Pissed Pissed Pissed Pissed
People have been f ing with me for years QO. Turn the cheeck , it is all you can do. I have dried blue glue on my old carpet, lots and lots of bare patches all over my grassy yard and have had all sorts of things go missing, too much to mention and yet, you know....things allways work out in the end. It reminds me of that movie with the old gas station attendant who helps out a gymnast to be his best. Good movie, in part. Hang tough . In the movie, two hoodlums try to rob the gas attendant and the gymnast. The gymnast gets all scared and freaked out because the gas attendant gives up all that is requested. He says something like: in order for someone to realize their frailty they must receive what they desire and I don't need that stuff anyway. You steal enough , then you realize something I guess. Maybe, maybe not, who is to say. Part and parcel.
Quote:Tell me again about how everything is going to turn around for me?

So far somebody left the windows open in my car for a roaring downpour all night. Now I find that someone also broke into my basement again last night.


Pissed Pissed Pissed Pissed Pissed


I had a bit of a downturn yesterday afternoon at about 4PM that soured the entire evening for me.

I was PISSED AND ONCE AGAIN REALLY DISHEARTENED.

BUT!!! This morning I had another grand epiphany right up there with the one in November where the FEAR was totally stripped off of my self TOTALLY. and that is still GONE. TOTALLY.

<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/cheers.gif" alt="Cheers" title="cheers" /> had to be some grand cosmic thing... though my stomach is still a bit churny from the flu or whatever got me this week-

I AWOKE THIS MORNING FEELING THE FULL EFFECTS OF THE VERNAL EQUINOX ENERGIES OF NEW YEAR CHANGE.

and it was so good and I was giddy with action. I TOOK BACK MY OWN SELF AND MY OWN NEEDS AND MY OWN KNOWINGS AGAIN.

made a bunch of totally serious calls to deal with my big problem pronto. Made a few very intense emails to those who've been fraudulently jacking me around. I AM DEALING WITH THIS SHIT OF OTHERS MY WAY.

and I'm not paying. either. :)
Well I'm glad that you still have room for hope left inside yourself.

I do not. There are no more mental acrobatics that I can force myself into that will allow me to believe that this place is not hell.
Quote:People have been f ing with me for years QO. Turn the cheeck , it is all you can do. I have dried blue glue on my old carpet, lots and lots of bare patches all over my grassy yard and have had all sorts of things go missing, too much to mention and yet, you know....things allways work out in the end. It reminds me of that movie with the old gas station attendant who helps out a gymnast to be his best. Good movie, in part. Hang tough . In the movie, two hoodlums try to rob the gas attendant and the gymnast. The gymnast gets all scared and freaked out because the gas attendant gives up all that is requested. He says something like: in order for someone to realize their frailty they must receive what they desire and I don't need that stuff anyway. You steal enough , then you realize something I guess. Maybe, maybe not, who is to say. Part and parcel.


for me the only way I can move on with bullshit, lies, theft, abuse is to deal with it. Otherwise it sticks to my consciousness and is on 'constant replay' for the rest of my days regardless of how I forgive or try to forget. Once I do the best I can do to deal with it then it is gone POOF!

It doesn't require that much energy once you get your mojo working.

Unless it was one of the pets who left the windows down DEAL WITH IT-MAKE HE OR THEY WHO DID THAT DEAL WITH IT! WHOEVER CAME IN THE WINDOW AGAIN??? BOOBY TRAP! LAY IN WAIT-CATCH THE PURPS YOURSELF. SET THEM UP AND LAY IN WAIT... if you don't catch the thieves and make them pay... THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM AND SHOUT AND I DO THAT WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT TOO! JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT.

so we snoozed on our healing-jointly-I was doing it anyway myself..I've been halfassed sick but I'm going through a lot of insane sickening behaviors of my own and many others too.

THEIR TIME IS OVER. TIME TO KICK ASS. NO MERCY. MAKE IT STOP. PUT OUT THE ENERGY RIGHT NOW, THIS IS THE TIME FOR BEST RESULTS.

<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/cheers.gif" alt="Cheers" title="cheers" />

and there's a big rain storm coming and my sump pump in the basement is froze up... WHAT THE FUCK EVER.
Quote:Well I'm glad that you still have room for hope left inside yourself.

I do not. There are no more mental acrobatics that I can force myself into that will allow me to believe that this place is not hell.


I still have hope for myself and mine to cause major boundaries and penalties for those who cross them. Their time is up whenever we say it is done.

The highest acrobatic levels I'm doing is when I follow someone else's drummer-not mine.

you should have charged a finder fee for that big money you found for that friend. it is important to be recognized as a finder-it is only respected in this land if you charge for it. Even to return it to sender.

New Moon in Aries coming up on the 24th... I have another Libra friend who is drinking herself shitfaced-maybe even to death versus dealing with fighting for what is hers. The jackals involved in her case are very similar to mine but she's only got one-whereas I have many. She's also got me to guide her in this shitty soup of collection and being DONE.

She's not DONE yet. That's all. And I am.

Dunno don't matter to me'... instead. :)

RAISE SOME FUCKING HELL OVER WHO IT WAS THAT LET YOUR WINDOWS DOWN. LET THE NEIGHBORS HEAR YOU... LET THEM KNOW YOU WON'T HAVE YOUR STUFF STOLEN OR RUINED BY THOSE WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR VALUABLES.
That is exactly my point Gardener - I do not want to have to be fucking Rambo. I do not want that. I have never had a man to defend me in ANY situation in life, I have had to fight and claw through a male-dominated work place to get nothing but abuse and half as much money (literally). So now when I'm sick, I should go sit in the basement and await some robber - and then what? Pee on his foot?
And I must add, just for the last vestige of sanity that I am clinging to, that the wet car is not even a blip on the meter.

It is a culmination of offenses. I'm tired of fighting. I wish they would just kill me and steal whatever little tiny amount of personal possessions I have left and be done with it already.
Quote:That is exactly my point Gardener - I do not want to have to be fucking Rambo. I do not want that. I have never had a man to defend me in ANY situation in life, I have had to fight and claw through a male-dominated work place to get nothing but abuse and half as much money (literally). So now when I'm sick, I should go sit in the basement and await some robber - and then what? Pee on his foot?


you're still young, I realize that. I don't think I really got my 'won't take this anymore' up until 45 it started then at age 50... shee it. I was always interested in sticking up for myself but had no idea of the tactics the cruellians are natural born with. I'd know they were lying or stealing but MY GOOD MANNERS KEPT ME FROM SAYING 'YOU ARE LYING RIGHT NOW' or better like I have gotten familiar with saying right now. I've said it many times to some deadly liars this week. I have said 'FUCK YOU' to more assholes in authority these past few months than I ever have in my life.

and they were WRONG AND HAD DONE WICKED THINGS-SIDED WITH DEADLY WICKED. I couldn't take it anymore I HAD AND HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BY TAKING IT TO THE STREETS V THE COURTS WHERE ALL THESE CRUELLIAN (vernon howard's name for them) ENABLERS have tried to pawn me off to. 'I'M NOT PLAYING THAT GAME NOR THEIR GAME.' so ... <img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/smoke.gif" alt="Smoke" title="smoke" /> it is a matter of coming up with YOUR game. play YOUR game and with YOUR rules.

I've lived alone for the majority of my adult life and though I've always had dogs and guns... I've also set up some good bottle booby traps at points of potential entry for instance. I'm good at seeing how a perp can enter and making it impossible to do so without bringing down a lot of glass.

To me every window contains a good 20 weapons. Footprints, did you look for footprints? now a day though that tide will turn too-you couldn't even probably do a hard rousting of a suspect who had entered your property to steal.

I've had more players in authority like banks and hospitals use the 'PRIVACY BULLSHIT' on me-THE VICTIM-protect the perp or thief by saying they have privacy! lol BULLSHIT I SAY-MANY OPTIONS AVAILABLE TO US ALL FOR EVERYTHING.

I get disHEARTened really seriously heart attack levels of disheartened with all the wicked running around loose getting away with some horrific atrocities and PROFITING OFF OF IT TOO. Macro-the warmongering profiteers Micro-all around us in all kinds of horrid ways. I have been BEYOND SICK OF IT, TIRED OF IT... suicidally ideated over it... but with me, it always turns, depression is outrage turned inward. I prefer outraging.
Quote:And I must add, just for the last vestige of sanity that I am clinging to, that the wet car is not even a blip on the meter.

It is a culmination of offenses. I'm tired of fighting. I wish they would just kill me and steal whatever little tiny amount of personal possessions I have left and be done with it already.


hahahahaha........i am not laughing at you QO......just at myself, I said the exact words a couple days ago "just put me out of my misery, would you"....it really sucks to feel so s(*ty. This too shall pass. It always does.



Gardener,

I did spend some quality time during the healing grounding period and must say it was very beneficial. I would encourage all here to participate in your next round. I almost made a full circle with my body while stretching. It was awesome!!

So much is held inside our muscular system. There is hidden data galore inside of us just waiting to download in the STRETCH.


Thanks for the idea.)

G "depression out rage turned inward."

I agree.

How'd you get so smart anyway?
<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/horsepoop.gif" alt="Horsepoop" title="horsepoop" />
Quote:Horsepoop


that nonverbal of yours has thrown me... what?

we've actually got until the New Moon to do this-let's get together and see what happens to QO... with QO...

you got to really put your whole heart and soul into it... or at least heavy focusing.

I light a mother mary candle in my kitchen, those tall glass ones? and let it burn all day when I'm home to remind me of what I'm doing. It really helps my focusing and you can find them pretty easily.

I do a cleansing blessing on the candle, myself, my home, my family and loved ones first and really keep the focus on what to ask for for helping hands. It is always incredible to me what comes up.
Gard - I really don't get any joy out of being the Negative Nelly today, but I've lit candles, and prayed, and fasted, and prayed some more and focused and worked "the Secret," I've been prayed over, had laying on of hands, "Delivered," written abundance checks, exorcised, exercised, begged, and pleaded. I've fought for myself, stuck up for myself, fought for truth and honesty in a world full of lies and liars. I've even made choices in my life to turn away from worldly pleasures and focused on the end goal. I even believed and had "faith" that karma would finally come around.

None of it has made one rat's ass bit of difference. And I am getting sick of lying to myself and telling myself that one more candle and one more prayer is going to make the final difference. This has apparently been a waste of my time, when I should have been learning how to deceive and lie and steal, since that is the only thing that is rewarded in this world. Like an idiot, while one neighbor is downstairs breaking in and ripping me off, I'm making cake for some kids going on a camping trip. My kindness has always been repaid thusly. Wanna tell me how it is all going to come around....someday? Well someday has arrived, and I am not at all pleased to find that there is no payoff for being a kind and honest person. The only thing it does is makes you PREY to the hunters of the world. I am like a soft fluffy bunny in world full of crocodiles.

I'm sorry - I've reached a level of disgust hitherto unknown. I'm not handling it well. I have not sown as I have reaped - another lie.

(Oops, I meant reaped what I've sown)
Quote:And I must add, just for the last vestige of sanity that I am clinging to, that the wet car is not even a blip on the meter.

It is a culmination of offenses. I'm tired of fighting. I wish they would just kill me and steal whatever little tiny amount of personal possessions I have left and be done with it already.

Here are a couple suggestions by the fellow he brings me my 'ladies' each spring (had 4/5 stolen 1st year). Put nails through boards and wiggle them down to below grass level, through leaves,twigs,bracnhes over them. Before that, leave a small barier of barbed wire about two strands think about a foot apart as an outer barrier and also disguise that, last restort, small sledge hammer to nose or even a bb-gun set on a stick with string trigger, a camera on a stick with string trigger would work also, motion sensor lights.

Good luck...I hope this doesn't hurt my starting to feel better bodily wise :uni:
Quote:Gard - I really don't get any joy out of being the Negative Nelly today, but I've lit candles, and prayed, and fasted, and prayed some more and focused and worked "the Secret," I've been prayed over, had laying on of hands, "Delivered," written abundance checks, exorcised, exercised, begged, and pleaded. I've fought for myself, stuck up for myself, fought for truth and honesty in a world full of lies and liars. I've even made choices in my life to turn away from worldly pleasures and focused on the end goal. I even believed and had "faith" that karma would finally come around.

None of it has made one rat's ass bit of difference. And I am getting sick of lying to myself and telling myself that one more candle and one more prayer is going to make the final difference. This has apparently been a waste of my time, when I should have been learning how to deceive and lie and steal, since that is the only thing that is rewarded in this world. Like an idiot, while one neighbor is downstairs breaking in and ripping me off, I'm making cake for some kids going on a camping trip. My kindness has always been repaid thusly. Wanna tell me how it is all going to come around....someday? Well someday has arrived, and I am not at all pleased to find that there is no payoff for being a kind and honest person. The only thing it does is makes you PREY to the hunters of the world. I am like a soft fluffy bunny in world full of crocodiles.

I'm sorry - I've reached a level of disgust hitherto unknown. I'm not handling it well. I have not sown as I have reaped - another lie.


I don't think we can 'learn' how to lie,steal and kill as those others who have held the reins for so long now do. I think it is innate... blood family innate-perfected yes, learned maybe but we don't have it in us to do it. I've been under that test myself for awhile now... those don't LET us do to them what they do to us.

I understand... there is so much wickedness that is totally rewarded and goes unpunished BUT... like the Lotto slogan 'can't win if you don't play'... you also 'can't win if you don't fight' with your wit! that is the one biggest thing the snakes have in common in my experience-they're either totally fantastically stupid to a truly deluded degree or they've got something seriously wrong with their souls. Like not having one.

I've wondered with all the company that's kept me -pondered 'is this the time for all those who've throughout this reign of wickedness, blatant evil and slaughtering for greed alone and literally sold their souls for that temporal prosperity to have flocked back here en masse and that's why there are so many beyond sociopathic who get off on hurting, killing, lying who do get the BIG FEED harming good people who only pay and pay and pay?'

I've pondered the sow/reap too. I was on a rowdy domestic violence site the other night and there was one saying how the 'enabling' mentality is a sham, a scam used by the 12 steppers to keep their participants coming in...

We live in a narcissistic sociopathic SOCIETY. We live in a very abusive society. Nobody likes to admit they're abused in daily life by any who might have just some power or a whole lot of life and death power over us/them. The ones in charge of public schools are really into the 'S' word... Socialization - though for many children the entire school experience is a frightening and abusive one. The fervent hatred and negativity shown to any parent who homeschools always comes down to 'lots of abusive parents homeschool'... black is white and wrong is right-backwardsland.

Lots of times when it is too hard, too unfair, too wrong, too rotten people are having serious malefic transits to their chart. I did one for a friend last night who had Mercury, Venus AND Mars in a full spread in Pisces-Between long duration Uranus hitting all of those planets without much of a break and Saturn in Virgo opposing all of them, you will be a different person when that kind of a long winded transit with a double dose of hard from Saturn making its own mark on YOU... the human living out the actions of the astros.

I had that going on with my own Venus in Aries having a square hit from the URANUS/NEPTUNE conjunction in Capricorn-right on the 7th/8th axis... back and forth for a few years. It got really creative how many ways people told me NO... about the most normal usually easy life tasks. THAT'S what churned my motor into high gear astrologically though. It was so hard I did literally surrender to the Universe one winter day in my front gravel driveway. Very bleak years.

I've compared notes with many here over the years on 'when did this 'bad' time start for you? I have had unusually bizarre hard times and ways for TWENTY YEARS NOW... since '88... that's a long time to be out of synch with the rest of the human population.

There are progressed planetary actions like your Natal Venus say going retrograde with some other hard transits or aspects that can LAST YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Interesting to me to see how the unwitting have dealt with hard issues like that.

Darkest hour/dawn is one old saying that is right on... that and 'are you done yet?"
Quote:Darkest hour/dawn is one old saying that is right on... that and 'are you done yet?"


Am I done yet? How done should I be? I don't want to take another breath in this god-forsaken place, how's that for done?

I've had plenty of darkest hours, and not a single fucking dawn. I was hopeful the first ten thousand times.
I'm sorry Gard. I shouldn't even be bringing this in here. I guess I just needed to vent somewhere.



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