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No shame in that, as long as you realize it and take actions to change it.

If you do, you probably understand a little about lying to yourself, so don't, DO something about it

Even functional addicts are addicts. I know that sounds like a harsh word, but what is harsher are the consequences

If ever you feel the need, this is a program that I find extremely educational and helpful as a big first step
http://www.primeforlife.org/homepage.cf ... N=97084034

Otherwise, this thread is for addiction stories and group love.

In the course of this life I've found myself on that side of the tracks a few times over a few things.
but perhaps more importantly, I've found ones I've loved on that same side or even worse, and the result has had terrible impact, not only on theirs but on my life as well.

I know mine, they are manifold, and worth hearing
If I can get a few people to share theirs I might just uncork and lay them out for ya'll. Bunch of us been there

Maybe we can get to the bottom of something.
The point is in establishing a Hidden Mission "support group", nothing overt or official, just a bunch of friends helping each other on a nutsy assed internet forum.
Luckily for me and mine, just the basic ones cigs, coffee, carbs, dogs-no meds, drugs or alcohol, but the ones I have are making my life harder and poorer.

looks far is a wealth of knowledge on drugs, conditions and mind meds having been a psyche nurse for decades. He's told me some real horror stories about meds that cause permanent and irreversible neuro damage, meds impossible to get off of due to side effects consisting of 'electric jolts to the brain' affects.

I've lost several beloveds to alcohol which they just couldn't give up though it did kill them. One died from alcohol poisoning in the back lot at the IHOP after a few years of sobriety which, after his death, his journal said he hated and barely suffered through-the sobriety. "if he couldn't be drunk he didn't want to live'. My best friend died the day after my 29th birthday-she was 29 too, of liver and kidney failure, I think of her almost every day-one of the smartest people I ever knew.

I've known of a few marriages that broke up due to the husband's addiction to porn... Lol I could get addicted to kittens... our new guy, Roy, is busily diving, full body, into a shoe right now-too funny he is! Answers me when I temporarily lose him by... PURRING REAL LOUD... he's still so small after almost a month of having him that he can be sleeping on the table and I won't see him. cutey.
I was hospitalized last winter for pneumonia, and later, spent a month getting fluid pumped from my pleural cavity, which led to a Thoracotomy.
Quote:(Also referred to as traditional, “open” thoracic surgery).
A thoracotomy is performed through a 6- to 8-inch incision in the chest and is recommended for pleural effusions when infection is present. A thoracotomy is performed to remove all of the fibrous tissue and aids in evacuating the infection from the pleural space. Patients will require chest tubes for 2 to 2 weeks after surgery to continue draining fluid
Hurt like hell. I was on morphine, and an epideral. To function at home, I was given Vicoden and Fentanyl patches. I quit the patches within a week, and am glad that I did, as many people are dying while using them. The Vicoden lost it's effectiveness after a few months, and rather than risking a higher dosage, I went cold turkey. They don't even begin to tell you about the withdrawl symptoms. I freaked out and after the first night, I looked it up online, to discover that it is worse that kicking a heroin habit. I suffered just about every side effect possible, the first 3-4 days were the worst. Sleeplessness, chills, sweats, uncontrolled leg muscle spasms, nausea, the runs, and depression. After a week, I was clean, and haven't taken Vicoden since the end of May. Cow He kept Yak
Hubby has been taking care of me, doing chores, shopping, driving, etc.Luv
Quote:I was hospitalized last winter for pneumonia, and later, spent a month getting fluid pumped from my pleural cavity, which led to a Thoracotomy.
Quote:(Also referred to as traditional, “open” thoracic surgery).
A thoracotomy is performed through a 6- to 8-inch incision in the chest and is recommended for pleural effusions when infection is present. A thoracotomy is performed to remove all of the fibrous tissue and aids in evacuating the infection from the pleural space. Patients will require chest tubes for 2 to 2 weeks after surgery to continue draining fluid
Hurt like hell. I was on morphine, and an epideral. To function at home, I was given Vicoden and Fentanyl patches. I quit the patches within a week, and am glad that I did, as many people are dying while using them. The Vicoden lost it's effectiveness after a few months, and rather than risking a higher dosage, I went cold turkey. They don't even begin to tell you about the withdrawl symptoms. I freaked out and after the first night, I looked it up online, to discover that it is worse that kicking a heroin habit. I suffered just about every side effect possible, the first 3-4 days were the worst. Sleeplessness, chills, sweats, uncontrolled leg muscle spasms, nausea, the runs, and depression. After a week, I was clean, and haven't taken Vicoden since the end of May. Cow He kept Yak
Hubby has been taking care of me, doing chores, shopping, driving, etc.Luv


I am so sorry to hear that REDSHIFT! One thing you must do immediately is have your arteries checked for blockages-that's what happened to my husband EXACTLY except he ended up having his left lung removed due to recurring pneumonia that would not heal. Turns out the artery to the lungs was plugged and had been plugged, causing it to be really hard to heal that sick lung. Kaiser quacks had NEVER CHECKED THE CARDIO PART OF THE PULMONARY/CARDIO SYSTEM! just treated the pulmonary symptoms very badly and bizarrely-leaving him with what looked like an electric carving knife gone astray incision up to his shoulder which never got over the 'jumping nerves dancing' syndrome and the 2" chunk of ribs they took out to do that putrid side hole which they exited his lung from his body-that didn't do a working man any good either-and they told him he'd get 'addicted to O2' so he never had it though he really needed it until he started all the heart stents and stuff. Total insane allopathic nightmare.

He found J&B to be his preferred pain killer and applied it liberally-as needed. Horrible. just horrible.

do thyme treatments. boil up a pan of water-add a handful of the herb, let it simmer and hit it as hard and deep as you can-hold it in until you can taste it-will clear up those cooties fast! then drink the tea for internal bacterial cleansings.
Yes, been thru the run around with the 12 step program, rehab, although to truthfully state, for my most beneficial life to kick in perhaps now would be the time to join Al-Anon. It is the group for those who are dealing with users.

Not much for face to face group therapy though...

So, yes I have had addictions over the course of this life. My personal opinion is that we are all addicted to something or other, it is just some of us are willing to admit it and some of us are not.

REDSHIFT,

I am glad to hear you are recovering from your surgery and that you have support. Sounds like that was a rough ride for you for a while.




One of the most endearing movies regarding addiction is 'Anger Management'
[video:1vmg6090]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9sE55QzXlo[/video:1vmg6090]


the depth and levels of addiction are vast. The most pervasive of all is the addiction to 'Control'.

Honestly, I feel sometimes that I am in a boat on the high seas and have lost my sail and oar. All I can do is hold on to the side and hope that I do not capsize. Cause I do not make the waves, I just ride them.
<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/cheers.gif" alt="Cheers" title="cheers" />
I was stuck on Ampitriptoline (not sure about the spelling) about 14 years ago, had to deal with a lot of problems from my childhood and my Doc prescribed it, my Wife took it into her hands to get me off it. It messed up my metabolism, and since then i´ve had serious weight problems, going up from 75kg to 110kg, then last sommer i was very close to a heart attack, and since then i´ve dropped some of the weight, now down to 94kg.
Quote:I was stuck on Ampitriptoline (not sure about the spelling) about 14 years ago, had to deal with a lot of problems from my childhood and my Doc prescribed it, my Wife took it into her hands to get me off it. It messed up my metabolism, and since then i´ve had serious weight problems, going up from 75kg to 110kg, then last sommer i was very close to a heart attack, and since then i´ve dropped some of the weight, now down to 94kg.


Applause Cheers
I was addicted to pain. It doesn't feel like me and it wasn't. This imposter was let into my life when I was six. Drugged with Imipramine. Makes sense because I know now that these drugs cause addictions. I stopped the self harm and masochism (I know, I know ... not my evil, don't worry, although I sometimes think to myself .. Jeez, was that evil diabolical monster really me ? I always decide no it wasn't ... I know it was an imposter) ... so I stopped it in 2006. By that point due to family breakdown - I can't speak to my Brother now, I have lost him because he's no longer himself after becoming addicted to street then legal drugs - by that time I was heavily addicted to Cannabis. A very strong pain killer basically, but it was making me totally numbed out. So I got off that, as well as the full bottles of whiskey in one sitting at one point (!) ... and then I got off the psych drugs they had put me on. It took turning to the Church. A wonderful female priest put her hand on my head and said a prayer for me. So much weight lifted off me then and I burst into tears. I think I realised it was not my fault basically that I had become like this.

So now it's 2009. No drugs apart from normal social drinking. I forgot to add I gave up nicotine as well .. that was probably the worst one. A couple of "blips" but the nastiness has gone. I suppose it's whatever works ... not everyone likes Christianity even in it's Gnostic form that I follow ... but don't be afraid to call in the big guns if necessary. This Universe can provide entire fleets of medical ships if really called for.
Quote:I was addicted to pain. It doesn't feel like me and it wasn't. This imposter was let into my life when I was six. Drugged with Imipramine. Makes sense because I know now that these drugs cause addictions. I stopped the self harm and masochism (I know, I know ... not my evil, don't worry, although I sometimes think to myself .. Jeez, was that evil diabolical monster really me ? I always decide no it wasn't ... I know it was an imposter) ... so I stopped it in 2006. By that point due to family breakdown - I can't speak to my Brother now, I have lost him because he's no longer himself after becoming addicted to street then legal drugs - by that time I was heavily addicted to Cannabis. A very strong pain killer basically, but it was making me totally numbed out. So I got off that, as well as the full bottles of whiskey in one sitting at one point (!) ... and then I got off the psych drugs they had put me on. It took turning to the Church. A wonderful female priest put her hand on my head and said a prayer for me. So much weight lifted off me then and I burst into tears. I think I realised it was not my fault basically that I had become like this.

So now it's 2009. No drugs apart from normal social drinking. I forgot to add I gave up nicotine as well .. that was probably the worst one. A couple of "blips" but the nastiness has gone. I suppose it's whatever works ... not everyone likes Christianity even in it's Gnostic form that I follow ... but don't be afraid to call in the big guns if necessary. This Universe can provide entire fleets of medical ships if really called for.

I've been the recipient of so many Universe sent angels-many of them totally rogue-it's all a matter of timing. Glad that you got off the stuff DJBarney! I really prefer to have nothing to do with alcoholics or drug addicted ones regardless of whether they are street or pharm drugs. The peeps aren't really there-and what is there is so false-so untrue to their own selves and of course then, everyone else it is like a waste of communion time. for me.

I've had my binges great and small-had a delayed teenager time-in my 30s which can be really scarier than the hardest partying devil may care 17 year old because in your 30s you have $$, savvy and abilities to work your addictions too. I admit it, I went to work drunk and zoned out from 3 days of no sleep and LOTS of partying... nobody seemed to notice

<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/scream.gif" alt="Scream" title="scream" /> (yeah right!) but after a few years of trying this world out drunk and crankin' I stopped it and quit doing any of it and replaced that with some cloistered sobriety. One big reality I discovered through my astro counseling was how many heroin addicts and alcoholics had been sexually molested as children with all the other forms of abuse administered to them as well-BIG FACTORING IN WITH THE OPIATED, PAIN PILLS AND ALCOHOLIC suffering souls.

I was just talking yesterday with a lady who'd worked in a youth authority prison and like my other friend in CA who worked in the CYA prison for kids there told me years ago-the ONLY THING IN COMMON ALL THESE KIDS HAD WAS BEING VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE.

That shit has just got to be stopped-this one was telling me how a few of them didn't want to leave the prison and go back home-their homes and families were worse than the prisons which were pretty harsh places for CHILDREN TO GROW UP IN.

I asked her if their families were factored in at ALL with the kids' behaviors, crimes and release and they weren't at all. No parenting classes, no counseling for anyone, no CPS for these kids who had done all kinds of criminal acts along with several who were mentally ill but violent so they put them into kid prison because they had better tenders there than in the mental hospitals which probably don't even exist anymore-unless you've got GOOD INSURANCE and the mind meds are used as chemical restraints.
here's a song that's been wistfully playing in my often too deep head lately. The original Tears for Fears version.

poor messed up little humans-quite a lot is expected of us to be strong enough to deal with.

[video:1krtiegp]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZRib_aAQFQ&feature=related[/video:1krtiegp]
Coffee2 and I'm not ready to deal with giving up either.

Peace

ETA: and the internet.
In my late 30s and early 40s I was addicted to sex.

At the peak I was up to 5 GFs at once.
It was a lot to manage.
It came with a lot of fun and a lot of heartbreak.

the heartbreak tends to cure the problem due to the desire to not have the emotional trauma.

plus everybody just got older and less interested in such foo doo.

Then a couple of years ago I got addicted to that freaking cosmologic math.
That is a tough strain on the mind ...man.

If you haven't seen the movie it is pretty good

[Image: pi_movie-vi.jpg]

[Image: pi_movie_film_aronofsky.jpg]

[Image: Pi+Movie+Poster.jpg]
[quote author="unibonger"]Smoke and :Uni2:


Damned
hmmm...there are a lot of issues here...and grey areas, too......

Generally, people aim to achieve equilibrium.
If one settles into a routine which reliably delivers that state then is that a sign of "addictive behavior"? Are addictions always harmful?

What if a person starts the day by running a few miles?
Is this a healthy regimen, or a case of addiction to endorphins...or both?

I HAVE to drink a cup or 2 of coffee when I get up, or else get a sick headache.
I also reactivated my dormant nicotine habit a few years ago when I was building my computer.
At the same time, I increased my alcohol consumption.
Now, in the last 4(?) months I think I detect a possible danger sign in that I follow morning coffee with the half can of brew left from the night before. Also I end up chain smoking 6+ cigarettes along with the coffee and beer.

I'd like to quit smoking tobacco and replace it with more pot, because I prefer the intellectual hang gliding effect over a deadening sensation.
addictions?
Smoke
Quote:[quote author="unibonger"]Smoke and :Uni2:


Damned

Ooops. Forgot about the white stuff.

Peace
we had a cat named Sugar a few years back


it and approximately 7 or 8 other cats vanished that year...

cult or ritual magik i am sure of it.

Sith material George Lucas style.






Found an arrowhead in the clay this morning, the clay is slowly dissolving as the waves beat upon the shoreline.......how I wish the sand would return. Time is KEY
<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/damned.gif" alt="Damned" title="damned" /> Vianova......I...I..I just got through watching Pi
Quote:Damned Vianova......I...I..I just got through watching Pi


and........

there is more than something missing from the above quote Lmao
Quote:Damned Vianova......I...I..I just got through watching Pi


the 'bizarre and ingeniously paranoid thriller"? <img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/damned.gif" alt="Damned" title="damned" />

well???????

I just got through watching 1984 out of sequence even.
The cavalier attitude I see among these posts makes me say

Well fuck ya'll hypocrites

and then hit the delete button on the thread

But since I'm not like that, I'll just say this,

denial is where you find crocodiles.
perhaps you are thinking that addiction is "only those crackheads, meth freaks and winos?
Quote:The cavalier attitude I see among these posts makes me say

Well fuck ya'll hypocrites

and then hit the delete button on the thread

But since I'm not like that, I'll just say this,

denial is where you find crocodiles.


Hmmm

thinking I missed something, I went back and read the thread again. I must say, I'm confused as to your response Keith. Cavalier? Denial? I thought people were just sharing their own experiences?

<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/stars.gif" alt="Stars" title="stars" />
I haven't posted because I am so dull that I have never snorted concaine, smoked crack, popped any pills to get high or smoked regular cigarettes. I smoked some pot in college and my reaction was - meh. I prefer alcohol for my escape. I enjoy it and its effects but I don't have to have it so don't really consider it an addiction.

Coffee is another story - I am addicted to it and have withdrawal if I don't have it every day. But I am quite sure you weren't talking about coffee when you started this thread so I stayed off of it. But after your comment of people being in de-nile I thought I would.

As for dealing with addicts -well....... I watched cigs and alcohol kill my mother. I endured the abuse of living with an alcoholic husband for 20 years before I threw in the towel. He was/is definitely addicted - would rather die than give up his hard booze.
Having done a bunch of coke in my day, I can certainly see how it can be addictive. Unfortunately, a close high school buddy of mine got on the coke train. He had his own company and was starting to become quite successful but he got hooked. They found him in his truck with a shotgun. It was ruled a suicide but he was not the type to kill himself. Rumour had it that he was into his supplier for close to six figures. He was only 22 at the time. That lesson taught me to treat coke very carefully.

Peace
Quote:Yes, been thru the run around with the 12 step program, rehab, although to truthfully state, for my most beneficial life to kick in perhaps now would be the time to join Al-Anon. It is the group for those who are dealing with users.
Amen, sistah.
That is the worst addiction our entire society has: the desire to manage and control other people...the belief that not only is it okay to do that, but the additonal and delusional idea that it's even possible.
It seems that alcohol addiction is the main cause of that. When you consider how many overt and closet alcoholics there are, and how many people are adversely affected by each individual alcoholic. It's a blight that's practically invisible because alcohol is legal.
<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/damned.gif" alt="Damned" title="damned" />
Well, ya know... Is funny, sort of... The bottle used to get the better of me once in a while, until I had a long talk with myself about rushing to the liquor store before they closed.

"Why are you racing to get to the liquor store before they close?"

"Because I need a drink, I can't wait until they open in the morning"

"QUIT THINKING THAT!"

Worked pretty good for a one-step program actually. The funny part is that it's diameterically opposite what's recommended - you know, AA, "Hi my name's so and so and I'm an ALCOHOLIC".

Effective denial, you know? You can't say, "I'm not an alcoholic" while you're chugging vodka, but you know...

I defer to the Biblical, "As a man thinkest in his heart, so is he".

(It's actually a great book as long as you can get away with sorting the gems from the dung).

So I quit thinking I needed a drink.
Quote:The cavalier attitude I see among these posts makes me say

Well fuck ya'll hypocrites

and then hit the delete button on the thread

But since I'm not like that, I'll just say this,

denial is where you find crocodiles.

don't be playin' games-call it but don't play the games-what do you mean?

ok ok I've been addicted to the internet for 7 years now. I've been addicted to sleep and to work before too. ummm I would like to get some ADD meds (dexedrine) as speed like that has always got me organized and manic clean.

I've been a readoholic all my life-very few periods when in my life when I haven't read voraciously-hence the internet addiction.

when you stop one addiction the void is usually filled with another-I quit my last hard partying binging 20odd years ago and replaced it firstly with workaholism then artoholism-hard for me to hold a plain old steady routine.
Quote:[quote author="Keith"]The cavalier attitude I see among these posts makes me say

Well fuck ya'll hypocrites

and then hit the delete button on the thread

But since I'm not like that, I'll just say this,

denial is where you find crocodiles.


Hmmm

thinking I missed something, I went back and read the thread again. I must say, I'm confused as to your response Keith. Cavalier? Denial? I thought people were just sharing their own experiences?

Dunno
I'm addicted to cigs, coffee (sugar), junk food, internet, self pity, never thought about controlling others...maybe I try sometimes, but am not addicted? No one likes to feel like they have no control over their environment. I'm addicted to procrastination for damn sure...hmmm, what's the difference between addiction and just plain old bad habits, and making excuses?

addiction to me implies a real, physical need based on endorphins in the brain...hard to tell where habit and routine stop and addiction begins.
Quote:I'm addicted to cigs, coffee (sugar), junk food, internet, self pity, never thought about controlling others...maybe I try sometimes, but am not addicted? No one likes to feel like they have no control over their environment. I'm addicted to procrastination for damn sure...hmmm, what's the difference between addiction and just plain old bad habits, and making excuses?

addiction to me implies a real, physical need based on endorphins in the brain...hard to tell where habit and routine stop and addiction begins.


there are so many behaviors that can be addictive-meaning you have little or no control over stopping them. I've known alcoholics who could stop for a week, a month or had strict rules on their behaviors like no drinking before 4:30 PM or no drinking in bars or alone.

Substance abuse addictions, physical behavior addictions-working out, sex, food, work... addictions to power over others, having to win and others having to lose, addictions to cosmetic surgery-regular surgeries... drama addictions-gossip addictions-vice addictions-religious addictions.

that crazy Octomom-addicted to having babies <img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/scream.gif" alt="Scream" title="scream" /> addicted to cheating... gambling, pretty much the full gamut of the human experiences can become addicting-I've been addicted to playing solitaire before. JUST HAD TO DO IT! I've known musicians and artists who had to do their crafts or they'd 'go crazy'.

I've been addicted to working out and rollerblading too-all I thought of was doing it... and would sneak it in ever chance I got for the rush of doing it down long steep slopes on the bike trail of my town.

I'M A PISCES DAMMIT WITH MY MARS IN SAG AND MERCURY IN AQUARIUS! GEMINI rising! so at least all of my addictions are usually pretty temporary before I get diverted onto something new or hurt myself and am forced to stop or am cut off from my sources and not able to do them anymore.

addicted to tv-soaps, Oprah... I've had them too. But then when mine are done-they're over like any other relationship when it is time to move on. Addicted to solitude. got to have it. I actually got bored with drinking-tried to do the braindead thing acceptable to society and got bored with it but I did really get into it when I was doing it, but that wasn't an addiction really.

hmmmm WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ADDICTIONS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THAT YOU'RE THROWING THE 'H' WORD AROUND KEITH?
Keith is showing how we're all addicted to "mysteries" LOL
Noun

Etymology

From addict +? -ion; compare (Latin) addictio (“‘an adjudging, an award’”) [ <-- interesting ]

Pronunciation

* IPA: /??d?k??n/

Plural
addictions

addiction (plural addictions)

1. The state of being addicted; devotion; inclination.
2. A habit or practice that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one's life but when ceased causes trauma.
3. A pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences.

"His addiction was to courses vain." Shakespeare.


A few days ago I was dealing with the coma-shock I think I'm in, due to losing my Brother. I was reading this forum thinking. How do I know these people aren't dealing with similar things ? Then this thread came up. I've dropped a lot of addictions, but I'm still addicted to failure for example. I'll reach the last post of a project and then drop it. I have to muster a huge effort to carry on, when I do and it becomes successful I'll sometimes go into trauma ! This matches with number 2 above.
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