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Surely I Can't Look That Old!!!
#1
Received in my inbox today:
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING,

"SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?"

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL SCHOOL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED THAT A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY, WITH THE SAME NAME, HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.


COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED FAIRVIEW HIGH SCHOOL .


'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A BULLDOG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.


'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.



HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'


'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.


HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.


THEN, THAT UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ASS,

GRAY-HAIRED,

DECREPIT

SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED.








"WHAT DID YOU TEACH ???"
"More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly." ~ Woody Allen
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#2
I just had to paraphrase a line I heard once. After a couple of gin and tonics no less.
The wife and I were at a friends house for her 50th birthday party.
She was being toasted by one after another when my turn came.
"Debbie" I said, "You sure don't look like a 50 year old woman...........But, there's alot of us here that can still remember when you did."
She hit me!
So, the words Autumn and Fall are not to be capitalized?
They are in my world!

What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; and there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there a thing of which it is said, "See, this is new?"It has been already, in the ages before us. Ecc 1: 9-10
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#3
Quote:I just had to paraphrase a line I heard once. After a couple of gin and tonics no less.
The wife and I were at a friends house for her 50th birthday party.
She was being toasted by one after another when my turn came.
"Debbie" I said, "You sure don't look like a 50 year old woman...........But, there's alot of us here that can still remember when you did."
She hit me!

Lol

CLASS OF '75???? Scream Lol
"Confusion... first sign of a bad relationship-whether personal, societal or governmental"
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#4
<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/rofl.gif" alt="Rofl" title="rofl" />
Don't believe anything they say. <br />And at the same time, <br />Don't believe that they say anything without a reason. <br />---Immanuel Kant
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#5
My wife won't let me speak at birthday parties anymore. :thwack:

Debbie knew I was kidding.
So, the words Autumn and Fall are not to be capitalized?
They are in my world!

What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; and there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there a thing of which it is said, "See, this is new?"It has been already, in the ages before us. Ecc 1: 9-10
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#6
:Uni2:


<img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/peace.gif" alt="Peace" title="peace" />
Government is nothing more than the rationalization and exercise of violence. Everything done by government contains at least the implicit threat of lethal coercion. <br /><br />- William N. Grigg
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#7
http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Oddities/090304/K030406AU.html

Iowa ponders if Department of Aging should be named DOA
Published: Wednesday, March 4, 2009 | 4:14 PM ET
Canadian Press NewsItem/NewsComponent/NewsLines/ByLine

DES MOINES, Iowa - Some think the idea should have been dead on arrival.

But the Iowa House has approved a bill changing the name of the Department of Elder Affairs.

If the legislation is signed by Gov. Chet Culver, the agency will be known as the Department of Aging - or DOA.

Representative David Heaton is one of those who isn't too happy with the vote.

He's offended by the acronym for an agency that helps elderly Iowans.

Heaton, a Republican, says: "I understand it. I don't like it."

But Representative Janet Petersen, a Democrat, says the name change was meant to comply with terminology used by the federal government.

She suggested not using an acronym.

The Senate has approved the change.

Culver hasn't taken sides, but now it's up to him whether the proposal lives - or is DOA.
© The Canadian Press, 2009

Peace
Government is nothing more than the rationalization and exercise of violence. Everything done by government contains at least the implicit threat of lethal coercion. <br /><br />- William N. Grigg
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#8
This happened a few months ago ...

The wife and I were milling around with a lot of other folks in the foyer outside of the church sanctuary. The morning service had just ended and, as usual, people were chatting. I felt a slight bump on my right side, so I turned to see if someone was trying to get my attention -- it was a 6 year old (or so) boy who had bumped into me. I looked down at him ... he looked up at me ... and he said, "Sorry, old man."

His mother hurriedly rushed him off somewhere.
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